Friday, July 31, 2015

disagreements, Conflicts...

I am currently having a disagreement or conflict at work with my boss. I put in my two week notice to start a new position elsewhere. When I told my boss, she was quite upset and told me she was happy for me but sad to see me go. During the week she called me into her office questioning me about why I am leaving even though we had talked about this several months ago. She has been trying to convince the other teachers to convince me to stay behind my back. The closer and closer to my end day the more negative she is becoming. Or should I say discouraging? I understand her because of the position she is in but she is starting to get rude and saying things like “The grass is not always greener on the other side” and “your gonna come begging for your job back” and “how is this going to help you in your career and education” and last just making sarcastic remarks. I know she appreciates me and hate that I am leaving. It is almost like she is trying to be understanding but she does not want to. I do not know what to say to her to make it better.


I have suggested a compromise with my boss. I asked her that if she keeps me in the system, I will come back as a sub so that I can come back around the holidays and summer to help. She accepted that. Even though my boss accepted that, I am unsure if this will help her ease off of me a bit. Another strategy I used was trying to be understanding of her comments, her side view of why I should stay and her frustration. I listened to her to see if my thoughts or ideas would change. My boss even tried compromising with me by making suggestions of different positions within the company, but I had already sought other positions.

6 comments:

  1. Kweshonte,
    Compromising with your boss is the best way to resolve this conflict. I also agree that listening to her thoughts on why you should stay at your current job was helpful, because, like you said, you may change your mind and decide to stay. I almost feel like your boss is disappointed that you're leaving and wants to keep you. My mom is going through something similar right now, and whenever she tells her co-workers that she is thinking of looking for another job, they beg her to stay. However, she needs to think of herself and how much money she wants to make. Some decisions are so hard to make, but we just have to bite the bullet and do what we feel is best! :)

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  2. Kweshonte,
    I guess I can see where your supervisor is coming from in that she does not want to see you leave but she is not communicating that to you in a positive way. She should be excited and happy for your new endeavor not belittling you or your choice to move on. We are sad when our teachers move to other schools and other opportunities but it is everyone's right to seek out new challenges and grow. We are all getting our Master's Degree to further our careers in the early childhood field. Congratulations and best of luck on this new and exciting journey. Keep us posted on how it is going.

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  3. Kweshonte,

    I believe your boss is not taking her position professionally, the stress to lose you as an employee is getting the best of her. I suggest in order “to reach a truly win-win solution, in which both parties end up fully satisfied with the outcome, requires the collaborating style” (O'Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven, 2015, p. 232). It is important to collaborate by problem solving together and finding a solution to all the rude comments that are being said, rather than compromising an offer for something she wants. Sometimes it is difficult let go, but amazing changes occur over time; embrace your future and future employment. Thank you for sharing!

    Nydia

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    Replies
    1. Reference
      O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3rd.ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

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  4. Kweshonte
    It shows that your boss understands how valuable that you are, it is just too bad that she does not know how to communicate in a more productive way. I feel that you have made a wonderful compromise to continue to help her out during the biggest times of need. Compromise is a wonderful way to help resolve problems and I hope that she will learn to accept your decision when you come back to help. My father treated me very badly the summer before I started college and it hurt our relationship for many years. My mother stepped in and explained that it was my father’s way of dealing with me leaving, it did not help the hurt but it did help me to understand the underlying reason for his actions.

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  5. I bet your boss is sad to see you go and honestly doesn't know how to verbalize it. She is hoping that she can throw as many comments at you and you will take a bite into one of them, and then stay on at your job!
    Don't burn your bridge, just try to be nice for your remaining time there!

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