disagreements, Conflicts...

I am currently having a disagreement or conflict at work with my boss. I put in my two week notice to start a new position elsewhere. When I told my boss, she was quite upset and told me she was happy for me but sad to see me go. During the week she called me into her office questioning me about why I am leaving even though we had talked about this several months ago. She has been trying to convince the other teachers to convince me to stay behind my back. The closer and closer to my end day the more negative she is becoming. Or should I say discouraging? I understand her because of the position she is in but she is starting to get rude and saying things like “The grass is not always greener on the other side” and “your gonna come begging for your job back” and “how is this going to help you in your career and education” and last just making sarcastic remarks. I know she appreciates me and hate that I am leaving. It is almost like she is trying to be understanding but she does not want to. I do not know what to say to her to make it better.

I have suggested a compromise with my boss. I asked her that if she keeps me in the system, I will come back as a sub so that I can come back around the holidays and summer to help. She accepted that. Even though my boss accepted that, I am unsure if this will help her ease off of me a bit. Another strategy I used was trying to be understanding of her comments, her side view of why I should stay and her frustration. I listened to her to see if my thoughts or ideas would change. My boss even tried compromising with me by making suggestions of different positions within the company, but I had already sought other positions.

Myself as a communicator

This week I evaluated my self as communicator in ways I would evaluate others. Some of the ways I evaluated myself :

1. Sending a clear message. Everyone has to be on the same page of understanding.
2. Making sure I am hearing and understanding- interpreting the situation
3. making sure my facial expressions and gestures does not come off ass offensive

I had realized that while taking the assessment of verbal aggressiveness I was rated as a significant aggressor. My score was pretty high. I was definitely surprised because I did not know I came off that way. It is never my intentions to be that aggressive. Now that i look back at the the way I communicate with my children and families and in my personal relationships, I have a lot of work to be done.

Others think of me as a communicator as:

1. Thoughtful
2. My movements of intimidation
3. Non verbal communication

I have to say that I was surprised by my movements of intimidation. Just like sometimes I do not intentionally give off a bad gesture, I did not know that when I am intimidated, it changed my body language. When I took the assessment of the listening styles, it said that I was empathetic. I was not surprised by the results.

I have l;earned this week that it is hard to understand an individual if we do not communicate with them. We can easily pick up a book or magazine and read about someone and think we know them when really we know much of nothing at all because not all facts or information is going to be true unless we talk to them.

Three strategies

I do find myself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures. Not everyone is on the same level of thinking, not everyone shares the same religion, not everyone lives in the same community to adapt to the same needs necessary. I find myself communicating appropriate to the matter, but that does not show the way I react. I act the same around everyone but i communicate differently.

To help me communicate more effectively:

1. Consider asking more questions than you normally would, in order to clarify meaning and messages (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond,2011).
2. Learn as I interact with others and adjust my behavior as I learn (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).
3. Be inside of someone else shoes and understand their perspective before I make judgement.

Reference

Beebe, S.A., Beebe, S.J., & Redmond, M.V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Communication styles tv show

So one of the shows I absolutely hate is Bad Girls Club. I can not stand reality shows.

In this show a group of women are put into a house together to see their moderate behavior. This is a perfect show that shows lack of communication skills. There is so much rolling of the neck, eyes, head, snapping of the fingers and most of all physically fighting. Most of the time the women are not even talking, it seems they are yelling at one another and they are all doing it at the same time. They are not talking to one another they are talking at one another and over one another. It seems like physically fighting and doing mean things is the only way to solve anything. The only time I saw descent conversations was when they talked to their loved ones on the phone. Some were crying so I assumed they missed their loved one's or they don't want to be in that mansion full of women anymore.

I watched this show on mute and could tell what was clearly going on. Women are very sneaky and I feel some of them need drama in their lives to make it interesting. I noticed that there were some cliques, sideline girls and some just really minding there on business. I noticed that you could be minding your on business and the girls will pull something out of you to see your other side and to get you to join their team. Everyone seemed to be competing or something with one another. these women really need to treat themselves better.

I was very accurate about the communication skills in this show, there weren't any. The women were very disrespectful. No one listened to one another. To my colleagues, this a perfect example of what not to do.

Demonstrating competent communication

I believe that communication goes a long way in this world. Words has so may meaning by the ways its being presented.

I have a friend who was in this relationship for a while.She assumed the communication was great but her partner knew it was a ticking bomb waiting to happen. All those years of assuming damaged her communication skills today but she is doing much better. She has become a much better effective communicator by listening, trying to understand, trying to reason and console her partner when he needed her instead of being his mother she became his best friend.

They do not argue much anymore or say hurtful words. They both had to change the presentation of their words so they wouldn't come off as hurtful or intentional. I can learn from my friend by being more patient to my associates and to be more understanding.